1. Place self on roof of target house. This can be accomplished via a ladder or helicopter.
2. Dismantle roof. You may choose to remove the entire roof or only a few tiles.
Note: Beware of dangerous creatures called Neighbours' Dogs. The emit high amplitude accoustic waves (commonly called "barks") that may irritate your auditory system.
3. Lower self into dark, scary region. Cobwebs and high concentrations of dust are reliable indicators that you have entered this region.
4. Locate and open manhole. Often, the presence of a manhole is indicated by the presence of objects which are foreign to roofs, e.g. suitcases, broken fans, boxes.
5. Secure one end of rope to wooden beam directly above manhole. An acceptable method is to tie a bowline knot.
An old-fashioned way to tie a bowline
6. If you remember your knots well, you may skip this step. Pray very very hard that knot is securely tied. You may use the following example or create your own: "O Lord, please let me remember how to tie this knot correctly, and safeguard me against a broken neck. Amen!"
7. Slide down rope into room below.
Note: Descending with excessive speed may cause the epidermis of your palms to be dislodged.
Yep, I am now a qualified burglar. The reason for my training was that I got us locked out of the house two Fridays ago.
Kudos to Mr Ager for teaching me the first 3 steps through the phone, and to our neighbours for helping us to actually occomplish Step 2. (Those things are ^%$*!@#& heavy!) Mr Royd also provided the torch and rope, and taught me a faster way to tie the bowline.
How happy I am for BB camping classes. Entrusting my life to a bundle of twisted fibres was VERY scary! I wasn't willing to test the strength of my knot, so I slid down as fast as I could. (Hence the dislodged epidermis)
Kudos to Dad too for storing strange things above our ceiling. If it weren't for the suitcases which pointed me in the right direction, I would've had to spend hours trying to lift every panel before finding the entrance.
All I can say is... Let's do it again! ^_^
P.S. Mom isn't very keen to let me take charge of house keys anymore...
